No One Taught Us How to Be a Good Friend.

We were taught how to behave in school.

How to follow rules.

Maybe how to date, if we were lucky.

But almost no one taught us how to be a good friend.

How to build lasting, emotionally safe friendships.How to repair.How to navigate change.

And now, so many adults feel lonely.

Not because they don’t know people…

But because they don’t know how to create real friendship.

Why Friendship Feels So Hard

Friendship often gets treated like the “extra” relationship in life, the one that just happens, or fades, or is supposed to take care of itself. But meaningful friendship actually takes:

• Intention

• Skills we were never taught

• A willingness to go beyond surface connection

And when we haven’t had those kinds of friendships modeled, we’re left guessing, or overgiving, or staying quiet when things feel off.

What Makes a Good Friend?

Let’s get specific. Here’s what real, healthy friendship looks and feels like:

1. Emotional Safety

You can be yourself. Messy. In-process.

You’re not judged, fixed, or managed.

You’re listened to, and believed.

Good friendship isn’t about being perfect .

It’s about being real and still welcomed.

2. Reciprocity

You’re not always the one reaching out, listening, or doing the emotional labor.

Healthy friendship is mutual. There’s a rhythm to it, sometimes one gives more, sometimes the other. But over time, it feels balanced.

3. Repair and Resilience

Every close relationship will hit bumps, miscommunications, unmet needs, moments of silence or strain. The difference? Good friends can name it .They can apologize, own their part, and come back with more care. Repair is the heartbeat of lasting connection.

4. Celebration Without Competition

You can share your wins, and your friend is genuinely happy for you.

No weird tension. No subtle one-upping. True friends don’t just sit with you in pain.

They rise with you in joy, too.

5. Space and Depth

You don’t need to talk every day. You don’t need to post each other constantly. But when you do connect, it goes deep.

There’s trust.

There’s history.

There’s presence.

How to Be a Good Friend

You can only receive what you’re also willing to offer.

I’ve always told my kids: “To have good friends, you need to be a good friend.”

And it’s true at every age.

Here’s how to be the kind of friend you want to have:

• Show up when it’s inconvenient, not just when it’s fun

• Ask thoughtful questions

• Share your own life honestly

• Respect their boundaries, and express your own

• Don’t assume, check in

• Repair when something feels off

• Celebrate them in front of other people

• Keep their confidence

• Be willing to do the work, not just vent

It’s Not About Quantity. It’s About Quality.

You don’t need 20 close friends. You don’t need to be in a constant group chat.

You need a handful of people who know you, who hold you, who grow with you.

Good friendship is not flashy.

It’s not for Instagram.

It’s for real life.

For hard days.

For belly laughs.

For 10-year conversations.

Want to Build Better Relationships?

Whether you're working on friendship, romantic love, or rebuilding trust with yourself, we can help. ✨ Book a session 💛 Or explore our programs: Secure to Love Again™ (for women) or Anchor Point™ (for men)

You’re not meant to do this alone. Let’s take the next step together.